My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
