i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am naked and annoyed.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
