so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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