if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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