I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she pinky promised me she was 18
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize