What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
