i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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