Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
