i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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