Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
