we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
