he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
