You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
