I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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