It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
