A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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