pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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