"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Can I color on your dick again?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
