Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just threw up on my dentist
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
