One girl and one boy is just not enough.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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