i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
