yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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