Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
