i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
