I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
