is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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