his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
