I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
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I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
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Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever