Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
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I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You were trust falling into bushes
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize