ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys