You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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