ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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