Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
