I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
