Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
