It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
