What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
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She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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