Someone shit on the floor
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
