I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I need to sanitize my soul.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
