i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
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