This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
