haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize