Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
