butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
