love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
