Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
