At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
