Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
