how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
