So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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