Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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