this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
