She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
