did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
