id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
