phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
