I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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