She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
