I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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