The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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