I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
