If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
