let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
